Life isn't a movie.

Yet, Everyone expects you to smile and look strong.

I so amazed, that I put myself into these situations. I have so much to accomplished, and yet such little time. It's astounding how much I've grown,matured, and learned about myself. But even though, I'm proud about my achievements, I have this sense of drowning. I do so much for everyone else, and I feel like I fall to the bottom of the ocean in the process. Not breathing. But, I always try to swim back to the top, and live before it's too late.
The other day, I finally realized that I try to be this private person, which I'm clearly not. When I finally saw one of my secrets on Postsecret. I was so happy, that my many years of sending them in, that it was finally up there for the whole world to see. But, once I knew the everyone on the plant, who has a computer, could see my secret, and the whole time I just wanted to scream to the world, "THAT IS MY SECRET!!!" It's amazing that people send in their secrets, because they have no one else to tell them too.
I've also accepted that fact, that I can become a jealous person. I'm aware of this because when I hear that the one person I care about, has time to hang out with the boys/friends, and do homework, but somehow never have time for me. Sometimes, I feel like just telling him, and then on the other hand, I rather just say nothing, and have him be happy. Just seeing him happy, just makes me ecstatic . But once he leave, I have a sense that I will just be isolated, in the ocean, drowning by myself.

I'm afraid of who I am, and who I'm becoming.