I am a jedi master.

It's interesting when you let someone be a part of your world. Let them know who is the "real" you and actually tell them things you never thought you would ever tell a person. Also, it's exciting when you also learn things about yourself in the process. I've learned that not everyone is going to like you, for who you are, but all you can do is continue being yourself, because someone out there will. That's some trippy stufff... I know I'm not perfect.. haha no where near. But, somehow I wake up every morning, with a smile on my face, and just try make something out of the day.
I used to write things about my boyfriend all the time, but now that I know he actually reads it. I'm not sure if I want to anymore. Actually, I wonder if anyone reads this, yet I really don't care if people do or not; I kinda just write this blog for myself. Writing is very relaxing to me. haha.
Well, school is almost over... that's pretty frightening. I'm so afraid of the unknown. Sometimes, I wish I could get a sign or something to let me know that I'm somewhat heading in the right direction. But, I'm such a double standard though, because at the same time I kinda enjoying the unknown, and that you have the power to decided what happens in your future.
I don't understand why people are afraid to have their feelings hurt, or getting close to a person. What's the worse that could happen? You lose their trust? You don't have that person to depend on anymore? You cry for awhile? I guess, I've been hurt so many times, by so many people. That after awhile, I've learned that a person is suppose to be in your life for a reason, and all the bad stuff that happens to you just makes you stronger, as a human being.
I'm really not sure, if anything that I'm writing right now really has a clear purpose, or a purpose at all. But, all I do know is that I'm growing ( well not taller, because let's face it..I'm tall enough. ) and learning new things. For some, this feeling would scare the living shit out of them. Well, I've never been normal, nor will I ever will be. So this indescribile feeling makes me eccentric.
Summer is coming..which means no more sweaters. ):

Could you stay my love?

Thank you, for at least, wanting to work things out. I just have to keep reminding myself, that everything is going to be okay. I just don't want this to be gone and disappear.

Everything is going to blossom again.
I know it.
I believe it.
Because in the end, we are just winging it..right?

Life isn't a movie.

Yet, Everyone expects you to smile and look strong.

I so amazed, that I put myself into these situations. I have so much to accomplished, and yet such little time. It's astounding how much I've grown,matured, and learned about myself. But even though, I'm proud about my achievements, I have this sense of drowning. I do so much for everyone else, and I feel like I fall to the bottom of the ocean in the process. Not breathing. But, I always try to swim back to the top, and live before it's too late.
The other day, I finally realized that I try to be this private person, which I'm clearly not. When I finally saw one of my secrets on Postsecret. I was so happy, that my many years of sending them in, that it was finally up there for the whole world to see. But, once I knew the everyone on the plant, who has a computer, could see my secret, and the whole time I just wanted to scream to the world, "THAT IS MY SECRET!!!" It's amazing that people send in their secrets, because they have no one else to tell them too.
I've also accepted that fact, that I can become a jealous person. I'm aware of this because when I hear that the one person I care about, has time to hang out with the boys/friends, and do homework, but somehow never have time for me. Sometimes, I feel like just telling him, and then on the other hand, I rather just say nothing, and have him be happy. Just seeing him happy, just makes me ecstatic . But once he leave, I have a sense that I will just be isolated, in the ocean, drowning by myself.

I'm afraid of who I am, and who I'm becoming.

I believe.

you're going to be my bruise.

Ying-Yang

We will never be the same.

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."-Marylin Monroe

...I live by this quote.

Never back down.

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I will stand my ground, and never back down..
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